Unknown chapter...

In ordr to asses the spped of the droplets you need to measure the distance they are travelling, and the time it takes them to get there. As here is no reliable way in which to do this with ordinary lab equipment, at least with any sense of accuracy, I am going to delve into the realms of insanity and argue with myself. Enjoy.

Ok, I have given up. Any ideas anyone?

_{yes, dickhead. try using a stopclock.}

Very helpful. Not. How about you?

^{umm… I’m not sure? or am I...? I agree that using a clock of some sort would be helpful, but the problem remains that how do you know when to start and stop?}

Well, mrs fisher just said that we are basically describing the picture.

_{we know, idiot. we’re both in here, here being the inside of ur head, kinda.}

_{*use some eggs!1!1!11!*}

IGNORE HIM. AAAHHH! Ahem. Caps lock.

^{well tht wasn’t particularly bright.}

_dumbass.

Hey, anyone can make a mistake!

_{dumbass. you deserve to be shot, and if I weren’t a figment of ur imagination, id do it myslf! and I wouldn’t get caught, unlikethis useless idiot.}

^{I assume u mean me? I am not useless. I am, in effect, the ying to your yang, the light to ur dark, the bread to your cheese, the…}

_{please just SHUT UP!!! and by please I mean, or die. I can do that you know. I am the most powerful piece of this twats imagination, and I control what he ‘sees’ and as such I can make him not ‘see’ u!}

I would just like to say that I am in control of my own imagination, and I could get rid of both of you if I so wished.

^{no! please don’t, I want to liiiive! I’ve been in there, I cant go back into the dark! I cant!}

_{you may be an insolent twat, but you would not do that to us, effectively a real and necessary part of you}

in that case, help me with this physics!

^{is that not bad grammer? I am not sure, but it just doesn’t seem right to me…}

_{it is spelt grammar. fool. grammar school? three tiered education. maho.}

^{^_^ I say hi!}

Ok, I know you wish to be referred to as himeko, but that does not make you ‘Himeko’. And why you chose a girls name confuses and worries me…

_{gay. G.A.Y. you are a homosexual. I m the guy part, the bit that makes you like guns and explosions and electrical stuff. and ‘she’ is the girl bit, that makes you love men.}

Nope, fairly sure im not. In fact, I am dead certain that I am heterosexual. I much prefer women.

_{such as ‘her’?}

^{that’s just sick, kinda. it worse than incest in a way. being in love with an imaginary figment of your own mind? just plain wrong. plus, I object to being referred to as ‘she’. I have a name.}

ok, that kindafreaked me out. Joe too, I would assume. Now, we shall all se what happens if I do this…

_wt?

^this!

_eh?

^{I have been augmented. an imaginary testosterone boost, if you will…}

I thought I t would be fun…

_{yeah, well fun this.}

^{nooo!! I was having fun.}

An imaginary pin? You used an imaginary pin? Wtf?!?

_{well, if you can give ‘her’ imaginary testosterone, why shouldn’t I use an imaginary pin to pop the fake ‘muscles’? it makes perfect cartoon sense. ie, in ur imagination, I can do nearly anything!}

Nearly?

_{well, there obviously limits, or that would be no fun…}

^{such as?}

_{I cannot directly affect reality. just unhinge enuf to make MY reality seem real. and that’s bloody difficult, and requires a weakened grip…}

Such as…

_exactly.

^{ur mean. not even ordinary mean, or pure evil mean that you can almost feel sorry for as it is pure and thus knows no better, but proper mean, where you know its bad, you understand its bad, and still do it.}

_{thanks! ;D}

not really something to be proud of…

best go, end of lesson methinks…

P.s Edited to make it more readable, as even i was getting confused by this.

Chapter (last one +1)

I’m kind of bored right now, and I haven’t done a lot recently (no posts this month) so here I am. Before I continue _{­hurry up­}, as I said, before I continue I must point out some differences between my former style and my current style. Before I was full of internal conflict, so mostly it was all about self-hate _{hurry up} and thus not very good. Also, during some conversations I have bee unable to save due to some reason or other _{hurry up} ^{let him finish}, you will not have been introduced to Himeko, ^{Nice to meet you. *insert curtsy*} “Curtsy?” You may be thinking, and I also would be, that this is a bit weird. _{­get on with this, you are boring!} Himeko is a girl’s name, and so is this invented facet of my personality. ^{That’s quite insulting you know…} I’m sorry. She is not a realistic girl ^{Watch it buster!} as she is entirely the feminine, or my perceived view of femininity, part, and is largely against conflict. She will however react to insult, so be careful you. ­_{Me? Good of you to acknowledge my existence, finally!}

I’ve just found a former conversation ­_{we know, we are in here…}^{he was talking to them…} and as such I shall be imminently putting this up as well. Much appreciative of your _non-existent comments!

Chapter 13: The End of the originals...

After this post, all posts will have been conceived and penned after the creation of this site. It's not as I remembered it, but hey,is anything?

i am going to fail. fail fail fail fail......................... munter. you are a total shitfaced cock head. haha head. i give up. mr johnson is a total idiot. i dont care if i fail anymore. i have no choice i can *buggerbuggerbuggerbugger*. or i can just live with it. you twat. you smell like a dead hobo who has been rolled in a dead, wet dog. you make a week old fart that has been stewing in an intestinally frustrated hippos arse for about a decade. in a sealed room. (airtight.)

in retrospect it doesn't make any sense. One word of advice: a good idea it may seem, but avoid DiDA.

Chapter 12. because you're worth it...

In order for this to be an effective and thoroughly fit-for-purpose project, we need an effective and thoroughly fit-for-purpose Project Log. This needs to include qwerty, as tyhis is amen. _{i hate you.} I know. _{i want you to die slowly and painfully.} You are an idiot sometimes. _{i meant that figuratively speaking; by die, i meant of old age, by slowly and painfully, i meant knowing that i am in control, doing what i like, and there being nothing you can do about it.} Dream on. _{if you can dream it you can do it.} Not so, you can't fly, and yet i know we've dreamt of flying more than once. _{you are a stupid twat who deserves everything i'm going to give you.} And how excactly do you expect to do this? _{you will burn in the fiery pits of hell, and i will put you there.} I've got news for you, we're already going there anyway. _{when i get home i shall be free of you, you pitiful mortal.} At least i'll be nice and warm. _{you will long for a death in the frozen depths of the antarctic.} Nice to speak to you too. _{couldn't say it could you.} Say what? _{love you too, you pitiful worm.} Don't know what you mean. _{don't get insolent with me!} Oh, go stick a pitchfork in it. _{i'll stick a pitchfork in you!} Take a chill pill. _{omg that is, well, did you think you were cool saying that?} No, I am beyond that delusion. _{no, no you're not.} How would YOU know? _{i am stuck inside your fucking head you shit brained moron!} Nice to see you aren't pretending to be me anymore. _{for all intents and purposes i am you, well part of you anyway.} So, if you're not me, per say, who exactly are you? _{it is not for mere mortals to know.} You are nothing more that I am, or you would have taken over by now. _{There are some Lores even i, in my seemingly infinite power and wisdom, cannot break.} Oh? _{the spirit that is in control of a mind is to remain in control until such a time as it relinquishes control to another.} So basically, you can't take control unless I, in some moment of weakness, let you, and then I cannot regain control unless you let me? _{pretty much.} That last bit wasn't very Prince of Darknessesque. _wtf? You were acting like an ordinary "mortal". _{1st of all, i am no price of darkness, that is such a lame title, we became a republic decades ago, and 2nd, bugger i've been spending too much time nosing around in your mind, it is beginning to rot my Evil.} Wow, that's the first capital letter you've used today! _{no other was worthy of a capital.} I'm tired of this and I need to get on with my work, goodbye. _{burn in the fiery pits of hell!}

Chapter 11. it usually comes after 10 so...

L Latin rub.

Bad mood secret message! ;D

Chapter 10! Double figures! nearly all my stored ones done now...

h8 de wrld an it will die. Die die die die die. Died. Your fault. You killed everybody. All that people noise around you? Psycho-aural aftershock. Basically means your crazy and you’re hearing things. The people you see? Psycho-visual representations of the world that you imagine may have once existed before the utter complete loneliness of being the only thing in existence became your reality. The real world is empty, with you going through…

Ok, so not quite the same. I was in a bad mood!

Chapter 9.

Somebody is watching me… is it you? Of course it’s you, how else would you be able to be reading this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I’m not crazy. *demented laughter* See!!! Seesaw. Hehehe. Monkey piggy chicken duck. Yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo. Soy sauce. Salty. Sea. C. D. E. F. Swear. Oath. Oak. Beech. Sea. C.

They'll go on like this for a while...

Chapter 8. I did it not...

Not my fault. I didn’t mean to do it. It was an accident. I am not to blame. There was no way I could prevent it from happening. It is purely coincidental that I happened to be there like that. I didn’t do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can’t prove anything. Photographs? Doctored! DNA? Taken from alternate source! Eye witnesses? Bribed! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Ononist. W’’’’’’’’’’’’’. wii. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.

Chapter 3, because I just realised I missed this one...

It makes no difference, but it means they'll all be here...

I like horses, they’re my friends. Crazy beasts. Thick as a tropical fish. Sack of nerves, and without the brains to do anything about it but die. Or kill. Hungry. Didn’t eat breakfast. No time. Need to eat. Je t’aime, non plus. Its French. Had those bloody words going round my head for the last 3 days. No apparent reason. Just have been.
I think you might be crazy.
Who asked you, go away.
Fine.
Good.
Bastard.
Same to you. Gone? Good. Now what?
Hungry. Thanks. Oi! Didn’t I tell you to go away?
I can’t.
Why not?
Because I am you, and you cant get away from yourself, it just doesn’t work.
Bugger. Well can you at least pretend not to be there?
I’ll try, but it isn’t likely to work.
Just try. Now. I’m hungry. Nearly finished. 5 minutes left. Then got to take that crappy letter thing to reception for mr claytons pa. PA. not pa. P. A. P A.

Well, thats that. As you can see, I temporarily reinstated the colour coding, as at this point I had not begun size-coding.

Chapter 7.

From here on, the former colour sceme is no longer required, as the phantom is in subscript, while I am normal script.

Bud bud ding ding. Bud wise err. Froggy. Leafy. Bib. Bono. U2. Live 8. Sad bastard who cares more about African poor people than other poor people. Like ours. The African governments could solve all these problems by themselves. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. You would be too, if you were me. And no that is not an invitation. Bugger off you crazy bastard. _{I didn’t say anything.} Oh go bite your own arse. _{You don’t really mean that.}

Basically another word association session. Bored...

Chapter 6. It's just the one after 5 really...

African body-scratcher. Tomorrow we shall be in limbobo but until then we shall be Thursday. I am spouting a load of nonsense. Bunkip. Fuzztickle. Arbitrary motion. Pakistani notion. Purple sun-cream lotion. Buzz. Buzz! Formaldehyde. Jacobs Espresso. Marijuana. Dope. Heroine. Hero. Conan the Barbarian. Ben Cohen. Saints. Jesus. Dan. Carolyn. Sophie. Hayley. Elsie. Slap. Slapper. Whore. Hoar. Boar. Pig. Daisy. Bethan. Birmingham. University. College. Collage. Picture. Art Beauty. Pain. Pleasure. Chocolate. Coffee. Tea. China. Japan. Pokémon. Pikachu. Mouse. Rat. Cat. Daisy. Sophie. Carolyn. Dan. Hayley. Elsie. Glasses. Optician. Dad. Julia. Jody. Leah. Cigarettes. Smoking. Fire. Flame. Pretty. Ugly. Maria. Mario. Nintendo. Wii. Poo. Pooh. Bear. Care. Fair. Carnival. Simpsons. America. Bush. Tree. Bird. Animal. Beast. Maria. Ugly. Pretty. Flame. Fire. Smoking. Cigarettes. Leah. Jody. Julia. Dad. Optician. Glasses. Elsie. Hayley. Dan. Carolyn. Sophie.

Chapter 5. Medal Review

I called it that because that was what i was suposed t be doing at the time. I also cna't be bothered to colour code this one, so have fun. I'll give you a hint, it starts off as me...

I h8 this lesson. Crap. Only word 2 describe it. C. R. A. P. No other way. Or shit, but its not quite that bad. But it is bad. Life sucks. Not just my life, that’s not so terrible, but life in general. Sick crimes, evil people, the empty belief that God cares. What is God? An abandoned people with a fruitless belief in a non-existent deity. Deity. It’s a funny word. Hehehe. Not. Don’t care.

Oh come on, now you’re getting pathetic. Self h8 for no reason, depressive monologue. I could do so much better than you. Why do I even bother? CHEER UP OR ELSE! … That’s better. Continue.

This world is a shit hole.

What did I tell you?!?

Moon light on a broken mirror, the freshest dew of the day. Rabbits gentle bubbling in a pie, a hurricane crushing a bay.

This is my last warning, and then I’m off. Okay?

If pharaohs live in ivory castles, who cries in a cottage pie? Cheese.

That’s not even funny. WTF? I didn’t come here 2 allow you to type nonsense when you are supposed to be typing a Review in your ICT lesson. Twat.

A rose would smell as sweet by any other name.

I already did That guy. I’m quite proud of him, but he doesn’t get as much publicity as he used 2.

My old man’s a dustman he wears a dustman’s cap…

I h8 u.

Yeah, yeah, luv u 2.

I wish u wud die.

Lovely weather.

You will burn in the pits of hell for the rest of time. And then some.

Such a pleasant character. I’m so glad I made you up.

YOU? Made ME up? YOU? If it weren’t 4 me you would be sat in the retard section of a mental institute!

Now who’ depressive.

B f c d, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Relax, don’t do it.

Kill you, kill you kill you kill you. I don’t like you, can you tell??????????

You seem a bit tense. Perhaps some herbal tea?

I am an ethereal being devoted to the creation and correct distribution of inspiration. I can’t drink herbal fucking tea!

Calm down, calm down. Fine, I’ll get back 2 work. Goodbye readers.

Ok, so it's technically all me, but that is irrelevant. Shush.

Chapter 4. it just is

This one is even shorter, and here I started to use subscript so that i could see what I had written, and what the phantom had. This may make it difficult to read, and if it does, then feel free to comment, you many, many readers you...

I like horses, they’re my friends. Crazy beasts. Thick as a tropical fish. Sack of nerves, and without the brains to do anything about it but die. Or kill. Hungry. Didn’t eat breakfast. No time. Need to eat. Je t’aime, non plus. Its French. Had those bloody words going round my head for the last 3 days. No apparent reason. Just have been.

I think you might be crazy.

Who asked you, go away.

Fine.

Good.

Bastard.

Same to you. Gone? Good. Now what?

_Hungry.

Thanks. Oi! Didn’t I tell you to go away?

_{I can’t.}

why not?

_{Because I am you, and you cant get away from yourself, it just doesn’t work.}

Bugger. Well can you at least pretend not to be there?

_{I’ll try, but it isn’t likely to work.}

Just try. Now. I’m hungry. Nearly finished. 5 minutes left. Then got to take that crappy letter thing to reception for mr claytons pa. PA. not pa. P. A. P A.

Said letter was my reply from Mensa. If you don't know what that means, its probably not worth telling you...

Chapter 2: Like chapter 1, only different.

Shorter one this week, and possibly not as good, but who am I to judge?

Fuck it all this sucks so much and I don't like it I cant be bothered and im going to die a lonely, ugly, boring evil old man. This is all a waste of time. I thought I would enjoy this lesson. Shows what I know.

Yep, you are an idiot.

I am not, you psychotic , sick, twisted cripple of a bastard.

No need to get personal you wimpy, camp, self absorbed little piece of shit.

I would just like to point out that you cant really call me little as you are no bigger than I.

I could be, if you let me out…

No, it is dangerous enough allowing you to type, never mind take over my life.

But it wouldn't BE your life, it would be mine and I would improve it, you would be happy…

No, you would be happy, I would be a miserable voice in my own head.

So what do you think I am?

As you can see, again, very bored, and a little depressed. It gets better, honest, just stick with it...

Chapter 1... The Beginning of my Rambles.

Here follows a conversation between me and another person... sort of. There are at least 13 further cases of this, but this is the first recorded incident. My side is coloured pink, the other person's green. Anything in blue is narration by current me (as opposed to past me in pink).

I don’t know who anybody was, nor who they will be. not even sure who they are now. What are you? Are you human? Am I? is he? -> (this referred to a boy sitting next to me)

Yes, yes he is.

No he isn’t.

Who asked you?

You did.

No I didn’t.

Yes you did, I did, so you did.

What??!!?!

I AM you.

Huh?

The person who you are is also me.

You no make sense.

You know it makes sense.

I don’t know.

Waaaaaah!

What was that 4?

You're so infuriating.

Not, you're just gay.

We’re not here 2 discuss your ‘preferences’. Twat.

Rude.

You're being sooooo annoying!!!!!!!

Not.

No wonder no one likes you!!!

No, they don't like you, you're the reason I do those stupid things, you're the reason I embarrass myself, you just h8 me!

Well duh!

You're so mean!

It really took you this long 2 realise what I have been doing?

You ruined my life!

No, you did that yourself, with a little help…

I kill you!!!!!

You cant. Why?

I AM U, idiot, and that’s the sort of behaviour that drove her away.

Stop now please.

Oo, a bit sore still is it?

Leave it.

I didn’t even need 2 help with THAT.

Please, leave that be, it doesn’t need 2 be disturbed.

Ur disturbed.

That’s why you exist.

????.

If I wasn’t then you wouldn't be talking 2 me, would you?

If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, I AM YOU!!!!!!!!

Yes, but a different part of me.

Well duh.

The evil part of me.

Ur no angel yourself.

No, nothing is pure.

Not even me?

Not even you are pure evil, part of you is good.

Hah! Where you ask?

I don't need 2, you're babbling.

It is the bit that she touched in you.

I thought you wanted 2 leave it be.

I do.

I did this two years ago, when I was bored during an IT lesson (as with most of these, although some were in statistics). As you can see I was having some problems and looking for someone to blame. look forward to more from the evil bastard in my head in future posts! Hereafter he shall be referred to as Phantom, due to that being the name my friends game him in their infinite understanding...